Weird and Scary

Anyone who knows me knows that I have really strange dreams. They seem so real, that I sometimes wake up bawling because I feel as if they have happened. Usually Cal just reassures me that it was only a dream, and I get back to sleep. Sometimes I barely wake up. Well that happened last night (well, really this morning), but it was the worst dream I cold ever imagine as it was just SO real. It took a while for Cal to calm me down.

We were in this holiday house somewhere and this madman came through with a shotgun (Port Arthur crazy style) and just started shooting people. Cal and Ardyn were killed. Shit it felt so real. I felt like my life was over. I still tear up thinking about it. I couldn't let go of Cal, and when Ardyn came in to wake us about 40 minutes later, I just wanted her to stay curled up in bed with me forever. I can only begin to imagine what people who have lost loved ones too early feel. I mean this was just a dream, and my heart is still in my throat.

So, as usual, it's been a while between posts, so here's what's been happening. As wella s the usual day-to-day stuff..............

• Cal went to Melbourne for work for one day a few weeks ago, and decided to spend the night down there. He managed to get his brother and sister and thier families over and spend some time with them. He got to meet baby Sienna, who is apparently a tiny little thing. I can't wait to see her next weekend.
• Caught up with Steph for coffee and a chin-wag. Love doing it, don't do it enough.
• Had a day in there of just catching up with people on the phone - Jaq, Jane and Q. Three phone calls in one day......however given the amount of time we spent on the phone, 3 calls take up the day.
• Caught up with Lisa for a coffee and a natter, and also mum that afternoon. (I think there's a bit of a trend happening here - coffee and nattering.)
• Went to Bundalong for the Melbourne Labour Day weekend (we're from Melbourne, so still recognise thier holidays - ha!) with the Virgonas, Cormicks and "Brown Haywood Christies" (aka Amanda & Heath). As always, has a very realxing and wonderful time. Caught up on a lot, and really enjoyed watching the kids playing and interacting together. They are all growing up so fast! can't wait until Jaq and I can throw another couple into the mix. I took some great photos of Paul and Tiana (which I have to get ot Jaq) and of Sam. Cal took a really good one of Max, which was good, because he wouldn't let me come near him with the camera (which I have to get to Nat). Hopefully I'll get that done before I see them next - but I highly doubt it the way am organised these days!
• Took Ardyn to Bay Play down in Neutral Bay last week, and it was great that Yasmin managed to come down and have......wait for it.....a coffee and a catch-up! I haven't spoken to her in so long, and I am so glad that she made the time between clients (she's a hairdresser). Spewing Tom and Harry were in 'school'. It would have been great for Ardyn to see them.
• Saw the obstetrician on Friday. All's good. Nothing to worry about. I have a student midwife who is going to spend time with me through the pregnancy, birth and a bit of antenatal care. She's a qualified nurse, but is doing her PostGrad in Midwifery. Her name is Lee, and she is awesome! It's like having your own personal midwife/support person, as well as having Cal. It takes some of the pressure off Cal, as she is more willing to go through the emotional stuff too, and act as a moderator between us if she can. I'm not sure she really knows what she's getting herself into! Ha! So she comes to my obstetrician appointments and scans (if she can) and tries her darndest to get to the birth. She's a great resource to have. She took me through the Special Care Nursery the other day. You should have seen all the tiny bubs. Heartbreaking, but it was good to see the care that they get.
• So, today we have our 19 week scan. Can't wait! Although it's the last time that we'll see "Gumdrop" until the big day in August. We have no intention of finding out the sex, and I hope to God that the technician doesn't slip. To be honest, we really dont care. I've been calling it 'him' lately, only because I don't want to call it 'it'. But either way. Who cares? As long as it's healthy. Two girls would be nice though.....................:)
• Pretty normal week ahead, and then off to Mebourne on Friday for the weekend. Quick one to catch up with family mainly.

And that's about it. Sorry, another long one, but that's waht happens when you leave it too long between posts. I have to put a reminder in my diary when to update, even if it's just a short one. The reminders work for everything else, why not this? Ha!

Ciao!

{hugs} Kxx