Just a thought

You know, sometimes I wish that reproductive technology wasn't so good.

I mean, for all of those loving couples who deserve to be parents, it's wonderful. The fact that it can help them along. But I'm thinking about how early we can find out that we are pregnant. Do we find out too soon?

One of my sisters-in-law recently lost her pregnancy at 8 weeks, and it seems that this is happening more and more these days. It pronpted my mum to question why it's happening so often? I was recently speaking with my Mother-In-Law about this exact thing a couple of months ago after a friend had lost her pregnancy at about the same stage.

The stats are that 1 in 3 pregnancies don't last beyond the first 12 weeks. That's a HUGE percentage! In the early weeks, it's termed 'spontaneous termination' rather than 'miscarriage'. And most 'late' periods can usually be attributed to a failed implantation. The stats for that is even greater. It's pretty common really.

So why do we hear more about it now days???

I put it down to 2 things.

1) We are more likely to tell people we are pregnant before we hit that magical 12 week mark now. It used to be so taboo to mention it proir to that date, because no one then wanted to deal with a loss of pregnancy. We as a society are more willing to talk about these sorts of things now than previously. And people see the advantage of having their friends and family know, so that they can move through the grieving process if something does unfortunately happen.

2) Back when my parents fell pregnant, they pretty much didn't know until they had missed two periods. After missing the second, they started thinking that they may be pregnant, and went to the doctor for a test. So by that stage, they'd be about 10 week pregnant, and it's only a couple more to wait before you can tell people. Now, you can find out you are pregnant even before you miss a period.

I think that because we have the technology on hand now to know if we are pregnant so much earlier, it makes spontaneous termination seem so much more common now. Actaully, the stats are relatively similar to 25 years ago. However, we now have home pregnancy tests that can detect an increased hormone level even before you've missed a period. So a woman can test positive on Friday, and her period turn up on Monday and call it a miscarriage, when it's a failed implanation. Her story would ultimately skew the 'miscarriage' stats.

But we can't wait as long as our parents, as obstetricians and hospitals book out so quickly, that to try to book in at 8 weeks is too late! it's such a double-edged sword!

I am not posting this to judge anyone, or to get on a soap box, I'm just wondering if there is a 'right' time to find out that you're pregnant? And if you find out relatively early, are we going to head back to a society that 'hides' the fact until we're 12 weeks. I don't think that there's actaully a right or a wrong way of doing it. Everyone has their own reasons for doing things, but it makes me think.

I am so looking forward to telling my family and friends when we are pregnant with our second child (and if you're wondering, no, we're not), but it makes me think if we should wait until the 12 weeks are up. I don't know if I could. Living in another state would definitely make it easier, but as this time around has taken a lot longer than first time, I'm sure that I will want to holler it from the rooftops.

I guess that we have time to think about it. And we'll wait until I'm pregnant to work out what we're going to do. But it certainly makes you think about it. I'd love to just be able to wait until I miss a couple of periods and leave the home pregnancy tests out of it, but unless I want to deliver in a public hospital, that's not an option (especially in Sydney).

So I guess you'll know what we've decided when we tell you.
Until then, hugs and love to all......K xx